On March 23, in the year of our pandemic clusterfuck, 9 of our 50 United States issued stay at home advisories for residents as their COVID-19 response: Massachusetts, New York, New Jersey, Ohio, Illinois, Louisiana, California, Washington, and Oregon. Since then, most of the remaining states have followed suit. But because Americans can’t ever do what’s right or sensible, anti-quarantine and anti-mask movements have sprung up in defiance of logic, not to mention concern for the wellbeing of their neighbors, family, and friends.